Weights and Measures

Man accused of weighing his penis

A broken link and a second hand account of court proceedings.

It has been brought to my attention the page on the Edinburgh Evening News web site, linked to, at the bottom of 'More on potatoes – Yes, but is it floury', has been removed. So for those of you that can't control their curiosity I have attempted below to recreate the article from memory and snippets available elsewhere.

A man accused of weighing his penis on scales in a Scotmid store walked free from court after being found not guilty of public indecency. The thirty-three year old from Edinburgh had denied the charge at the city's Sheriff Court. It was alleged that he had exposed his penis to the public while attempting to weigh it on scales in the fruit and veg section of the store.

A 31 year old shop assistant told the court that she had been "really shocked" when she came to the fruit and veg section and saw two men standing at the scales. She said the accused told her: "We are just having our privates weighed". Asked what she actually saw, she replied: "He had something on the scales. I didn't see it properly. It looked like a penis". The solicitor for the accused put it to her that at no point did his client have his penis exposed. She answered: "He put something back in his trousers and it didn't look particularly nice". When the solicitor pressed: "You didn't see a penis at any point" she replied: "There was one, yes", but when shown CCTV footage of the alleged incident she admitted she could not see any penis. Later when asked by the Fiscal Depute, if she could have been mistaken about seeing a penis, she said: "I could have been, although there was something there. It could have been a hand. Maybe it was".

The 46 year old store manager said she had been watching CCTV footage following a shoplifting incident when she saw "two men mucking about. It looked like they put their penises on the scales for fruit and veg. They were giggling and laughing. The men were standing on a foot stool so that their zip areas were level with the scales”. She told the court that she recognised the accused as he had been a regular customer at the store. "I felt it was disgusting " she said "What if there had been children there or my mother". She said she had asked the shop assistant what had happened and she had been told the men were exposing their penises. She also accepted that there was no penis visible on the video as did the police constable who had interviewed the accused.

The police officer said that the accused told him: "This is a totally false allegation. I can say that for a fact" and "I was there. I can remember standing on a stool, but I can't remember anything else". He admitted to being drunk and said he did not know the other man. The constable said that on the video the two men could be seen standing near the scales with their hands down near the front of their trousers. They appeared to be buttoning or belting or zipping up their trousers.

The accused did not give evidence but in summing up his solicitor stressed that the only eye witness to the alleged incident had stated twice that she could not be sure she had seen a penis. The Sheriff agreed that the eye witness had said she "thought" she had seen a penis, but had later stated she might have been mistaken. The store manager, he added, had also said it had "looked like" the men were exposed but had not seen a penis. He found there was not sufficient evidence to prove public indecency and declared the accused Not Guilty.

 I refuse to be drawn into making any type of comment about the Scottish penal system or the scales of justice, but I for one will always wash my fruit and veg in future...